Throw Your Ego at the Door: Makda Habtegergesa on Recognizing and Reconciling Privilege

The first trip I took to Eritrea woke me up to how fortunate I am to live in Canada. Prior to that trip. I thought, “woe is me” I'm so oppressed. I'm so affected and I'm so hurt by the world. And it's true in many ways I am, but often, it's easy for us to center ourselves in movements and to center ourselves and our hurt and pain in what we see in the world. Going back home and meeting my grandparents for the first time, woke me up to realize the movement is so large and beyond my own experience in Canada. What amplified that understanding of that learning is what we're seeing today. We're living through a pandemic yet at the same time I'm able to sleep at night. I go home and I feel comfortable in my room. I'm not afraid. I go to sleep and I wake up the next day and do it all over again.

My heart grieves for African Americans in the US and Indigenous people around the world. And it also grieves for Black people in Canada. I recognize how the way I speak, the color of my skin and the way I present myself is acceptable for a lot of people. This enables me to walk through this world decently unafraid. That's not to downplay my experience, but this lens of being both privileged and oppressed provides me with a more authentic view and understanding of what I experience. Reflecting on the last few months, we've been living through this pandemic and witnessing the BLM movement, I've noticed that I'm positioned quite fortunately. Although I'm oppressed, I'm among the fortunate of a disadvantage group. Despite the breadth of my knoweldge, we are never done learning; I need to learn more about Black queer women and Black trans women and racialized women. It's been a very humbling experience, to say the least.

For anyone looking to recognize their privilege, you have to look inward, and it is an individual journey. Unfortunately, you can’t rush yourself, but the responsibility falls on you and it falls on your community to support you through that. I'm part of a group called YYC Eritreans. We work to unite, connect and support young adults/youth who are from Calgary of Eritrean descent and newcomers as well. Part of our reckoning and learning is understanding how in many ways we as organizers are very fortunate to be in the position where we're already connected. Many of us grew up together so, reaching out to this external community, especially newcomers, is now the challenge and the burden falls on us. That internal reflexive work is very necessary to recognize and reconcile your privileges. It takes a lot of ego work so you can throw your ego out at the door.

The CDLI team sat down with Makda Habtegergesa, a Political Science new graduate, to discuss her anti-racism and decolonization journey. Makda is part of 1919 which is an arts and social organization that provides a platform to Black, Indigenous and racialized youth and young adults. You can follow 1919 on Instagram at @1919mag and show your support by sending submissions, donating and spreading their message.